Men seem to think that women spend coffee mornings comparing sizes of our men and discussing the relative merits of wide versus long. Honestly guys, we don't. It's private and we don't want our friends meeting you at a dinner party and being awed or falling into a fit of the giggles. Unless there is something remarkable about yours, we are not telling and if it is that remarkable, we are only telling after two bottles of wine and you've run off with that busty tart from the Dog and Duck.
Although I do remember flicking through a soft porn mag meant for women when they first started to come out and stopping at a picture of 'Mr Donkey'. My Aunt looked over and said, completely sincerely, 'Look at the size of that. What a shame for him.' Respect to my Uncle!
Now we are not saying that size doesn't make any difference at all. We all like to know that the act of sex has taken place! And some positions may be a little more difficult than others. We are curious the first time together to see what men are 'packing' but generally it is way down on the list in what is important to us from our sexual partner. And indeed some things are more comfortable to do with a smaller one (and no, I won't be more specific).
So why are men more concerned about it than women? If they are comparing themselves to porn stars then, of course, they are going to come up short. But that's why these men are porn stars because they are abnormally huge. But can you imagine how much energy and blood it takes to get and maintain an erection of that magnitude? Soft and flaccid is no use to anybody, no matter how big it is!
Barry feels that he is, ahem, size-challenged and has spent the last 20 years picking up and sleeping with as many women as he can in order to prove to himself that he is man enough. According to him, and remember that this isn't scientific research we are doing, the truth of any statements given by our interviewees has not been verified, he has developed other areas of expertise in order to satisfy his many girlfriends. Indeed sex to him, more often than not, does not even include penetration.
Ben tells us, 'We hear what women say about size not being an issue but we just don't believe them. Men are very competitive and size does not escape from scrutiny. But really, everything about being a man is tied up with the thing that makes us different from women and that is our sex equipment. We do worry about being judged by women about our size because we judge ourselves by it. And if you can't satisfy your woman, what sort of man are you?'
We are well aware of the concerns of men in this area even if we don't share them, hence, we never utter the words, 'Come and get me Mr Average' but 'Give it to me Big Boy'. And if we find that a man is too cocky (sorry) we might wonder what he is trying to make up for even though size doesn't matter, no guys, it doesn't, really...