No Strings, Just Sex Please
Sunday, October 7, 2007 at 08:07PM 
Samantha recently met a 24 year old man. Nothing extraordinary in this, apart from the fact that she is twelve years older than him. The young man in question is very sweet but , she admits, they have very little in common. She does, however, like the feel of a young firm body! After coming out of a serious long-term relationship, Samantha was happy to have the light-hearted distraction of someone to text flirt with and long weekends of sex.
It was all going well until they had a conversation about where their relationship was going. Samantha tell us, "I thought that it went without saying that it was just a bit of fun. I thought he understood. We just didn't go together at all. I couldn't imagine him meeting my friends and I certainly didn't want to meet his. I thought he felt the same. We were from two different worlds, let alone two different generations. I didn't think for a minute that he thought there was anything more serious going on. When reality hit, it was the death knell for us. I really don't understand. I thought the idea of no-strings sex was a young man's dream!"
We asked lots of men what they would think about this sort of relationship and nearly all of them said that they would be enthusiastic about such an arrangement. But are they telling the truth?
Julie says that she has had several of these relationships. She is a high-flying divorcee who really doesn't want a permanent man in her life. She says that it always starts well but after a few weeks, they want to know where you are going and who you are going with and are getting upset when you haven't invited them to things. It seems that men like to feel needed and wanted and once you take this emotional need away, they are just not happy with the situation at all. Julie says, " I think men are intimidated by it. After all, isn't it men who are supposed to think with their 'manhoods' and women who are unable to separate sex from emotion. When you turn this on it's head, they don't know what to do or what their role is. You'll never get them to admit it though. They'll find another reason why they don't want to play anymore."
Is part of the problem that men just don't really appreciate that women can have sexual needs just like them and don't always require the emotional connection? Tom says, "I must be really naive because I always assumed that women always had the relationship in mind and sex was just part of the whole package. The thought that some of them might just want your body and nothing else is a little scary. I could see how a man could feel used." Oh the irony!
We've spoken to lots of men who seem to live for the no-strings relationship but only when it is them calling the shots. They have already planned the exit strategy after the first meeting but how would they react if it was the woman who laid down the rules of engagement?
And as for Samantha, it would seem that you have made your young man feel like a sexual object when he wanted to hold hands and skip into the sunset. Bad girl. I hope you've learnt your lesson!
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Reader Comments (6)
So refreshing to read something I've been thinking for a long time! You have hit the nail on the head. I've been wondering for ages if I was the only one who had noticed that the 'women want love, men want sex' thing only applies while men feel they are in control of the situation - so if the woman wants lots of sex, suddenly her partner feels used and loses his sex drive! If she makes comments about guys' bodies in magazines, suddenly he goes all quiet, gets insecure and changes the subject. If she talks about other men she fancies and suggests a threesome with them, suddenly her 'liberal' partner makes excuses! It's all ok while he feels he's in the driving seat - but once she takes the reins, the truth is out. It had nothing to do with sex ... but everything to do with power....
Cheating Women. Why Do They Do It?
Why do some women cheat? Can you stop cheating women? More women are choosing to cheat on their partners than ever before. This article will list the main reasons why some women cheat.
1. Revenge. Although you didn't sleep with someone else, you may as well have. You have broken her trust in some other way. Cheating women often sleep with someone else to pay you back for that dodgy investment or the lie she caught you out on. Apologize profusely and hopefully she will forgive you instead of joining the cheating women society.
2. Feeling unappreciated. Do you treat your wife or girlfriend like an unpaid nanny? Do you ever thank her for all those boring chores she does in and out of the house? What is she doing while you are playing golf? Housework? Minding the children? Seeing someone else? Cheating women often do so because they feel totally neglected at home. Show her you do appreciate her. Say thank you. Notice what has been done. Give her some help. Cheating women are looking for some appreciation and thanks.
3. The honeymoon is over. Another motivator for cheating women is that they are not getting enough sex at home. Once that sexual glow has gone and the sex becomes less frequent, cheating women look for it elsewhere. Try and put some time aside for sex. Go to bed early instead o f falling asleep in front of the TV could be all you need to do.
4. Boring sex. Cheating women often say that it is the excitement of the affair that is the big attraction. Sex at home has become boring and routine. Try and put a spark back into your sex life so that your partner need not leave home to find sexual adventure. Cheating women love the thrill of the illicit affair.
5. Low self esteem. Having someone pay attention to you can really boost your ego. Cheating women are often looking for the flattery they are not getting at home. Pay your partner some attention, flatter her, and prevent her from becoming a cheating woman.
6. No intimacy. All women need to feel close to their loved ones. Cheating women have given up on getting it from their partners and are looking elsewhere. Hugs, kisses, massages, all will make her feel closer to you.
7. No emotional input. Women need you to talk about your emotions. You may think it is worse than going to the dentist. Cheating women are looking for the emotional feed back they are not getting at home. Cheating women can be prevented just by expressing your emotions.
8. You cheated first. Cheating women are often paying back their husband for his sexual infidelity. Sexual revenge is a huge motivator for cheating women. This kind of tit for tat is only going to hurt you both.
9. Sayonara. Some cheating women have already mentally left the relationship and are looking for the replacement. Emotionally, this cheating woman has already left you. She probably isn't planning on staying.
With some attention and flattery your partner need not join the lengthening list of cheating women.
Read More
Cheating Women. Why Do They Do It?
Why do some women cheat? Can you stop cheating women? More women are choosing to cheat on their partners than ever before. This article will list the main reasons why some women cheat.
1. Revenge. Although you didn't sleep with someone else, you may as well have. You have broken her trust in some other way. Cheating women often sleep with someone else to pay you back for that dodgy investment or the lie she caught you out on. Apologize profusely and hopefully she will forgive you instead of joining the cheating women society.
2. Feeling unappreciated. Do you treat your wife or girlfriend like an unpaid nanny? Do you ever thank her for all those boring chores she does in and out of the house? What is she doing while you are playing golf? Housework? Minding the children? Seeing someone else? Cheating women often do so because they feel totally neglected at home. Show her you do appreciate her. Say thank you. Notice what has been done. Give her some help. Cheating women are looking for some appreciation and thanks.
3. The honeymoon is over. Another motivator for cheating women is that they are not getting enough sex at home. Once that sexual glow has gone and the sex becomes less frequent, cheating women look for it elsewhere. Try and put some time aside for sex. Go to bed early instead o f falling asleep in front of the TV could be all you need to do.
4. Boring sex. Cheating women often say that it is the excitement of the affair that is the big attraction. Sex at home has become boring and routine. Try and put a spark back into your sex life so that your partner need not leave home to find sexual adventure. Cheating women love the thrill of the illicit affair.
5. Low self esteem. Having someone pay attention to you can really boost your ego. Cheating women are often looking for the flattery they are not getting at home. Pay your partner some attention, flatter her, and prevent her from becoming a cheating woman.
6. No intimacy. All women need to feel close to their loved ones. Cheating women have given up on getting it from their partners and are looking elsewhere. Hugs, kisses, massages, all will make her feel closer to you.
7. No emotional input. Women need you to talk about your emotions. You may think it is worse than going to the dentist. Cheating women are looking for the emotional feed back they are not getting at home. Cheating women can be prevented just by expressing your emotions.
8. You cheated first. Cheating women are often paying back their husband for his sexual infidelity. Sexual revenge is a huge motivator for cheating women. This kind of tit for tat is only going to hurt you both.
9. Sayonara. Some cheating women have already mentally left the relationship and are looking for the replacement. Emotionally, this cheating woman has already left you. She probably isn't planning on staying.
With some attention and flattery your partner need not join the lengthening list of cheating women.
Read More
Yea, I agree with Siren thats its usually a power issue. Don't forget that men have fragile egos and many mistake a woman's desire to have them only as a no-strings-attached sex partner to mean that they are lacking in some way.
Also, since they guy is young, it makes sense that he will get attached when you consider that an older woman will usually have the ability to rock a younger guy's world. Initially, many men fall in love FIRST with the crazy sex their partner gives them, and hopefully their partner's personality thereafter.
Congratulations on a very interesting site! I agree that lack of power and ego do sometimes play a part in a mans reaction to a sexually "liberated" woman. However, I think one often overlooked fact is that the modern 21st century woman often wants to have her cake and eat it!. Men as much as woman have undergone centuries of cultural programing and are left with this legacy that woman are deep, romantic creatures only interested in sugar spice and all things nice...When Women start to display attitudes to sex that have historically been designated as masculine whilst simultaneously expecting men to respect and understand her feminine qualities is it any wonder that men are confused!. From my experience the myth that woman
are far more romantic then men is something that really needs to be reconsidered, similarly is it a shock that a man can exhibit deeper feelings for a woman?..After all this is what we have been told all our lives that women want.
Great site!
well the best way to avoid it is to get a woman that is either equal in age or a little bit older, maybe younger.