Are You to Blame for his Affair?

Of course you are! Well so says a book recently published and written by a woman who had a long term affair with a married man.

The argument goes thus, if he was happy at home, he wouldn't be on the look out for something else. And maybe there is some truth in it. Er maybe not. We headed to the streets to ask the men themselves what they thought.

Michael tells us 'I wouldn't say it is all the woman's fault but yeah if things were all rosy at home and there was plenty of sex, why would you need to complicate your life with another woman. One is enough.' Thanks for that Michael, we think you've said enough! Joe says, 'Things get boring and staid, the mundanity of everyday life becomes overwhelming, she's too tired, you're too tired, there's always some chore to do and something you should have done and well, it's just not exciting anymore.'

Ok fair enough but if that's the case some might suggest that the answer here is to try and sort out your relationship, deal with any problems, take some time out together, well anything rather than just run off with the nearest available woman.

'It's not as simple as that', says Maurice who defines himself as a serial philanderer. 'I can't leave her and the kids and, believe it or not, I still love her. Having affairs keeps me sane. And it means that I can stay with my wife. I need the security and warmth of my life at home and the excitement of mad sex and that just doesn't happen anymore at home. We still have sex but the familiarity means there isn't the same sort of excitement. So it's not her fault, I guess it's mine but it's just the way I am.'

So is Maurice in a completely separate category of man that just can't simply help themselves? At least he takes responsibility. He just blames ordinary life for his affairs rather than his wife.

Is it the other woman who is to blame? If women didn't have affairs with married men, married men would have no-one to have affairs with! Or so goes the argument...