Marbella Month of Madness

Sorry we've not posted but after a few weeks in Marbella, Spain, it seems that we completely lost interest in what men think about... well, anything really!

I am sure this is to do with the type of men we encountered. And no, we are not bitter and twisted. (Well maybe a little twisted.) We love men. They are exotic creatures whose brains are wired differently (note I didn't say wired wrong). They have the power to excite and thrill and make you scream with pleasure. They also have the ability to make you scream with frustration! The latter were the type of men we met in Marbella.

Take the stag do. OK boys, we know that your first priority is to get as drunk as possible as quickly as possible, hen do's are the same but really, please remember, draping your arm around my shoulder so that you don't fall down and slurring your words as you tell my breasts how beautiful I am is not the sure fast way of getting me into bed that you think it is. I don't want to see your hairy bottom nor that of your friend Dave and puke breath is never ever going to be a winner.

Golf trips. Mainly populated by middle-aged and old men with pot bellies, bald heads and bad dress sense. They have reverse beer goggles. They think they look great and all the long-legged, twenty-year old beauties are lucky to be in the same bar as them. They are not. Just as in football and rugby, there are leagues and these girls are not in the same one as you. For clarification, they are in a higher league than you. I'm just trying to help.

The Native. Lose the jewelry.

The Resident. I'm talking about the British and Irish ones now. Your sports car is very nice. I like the colour red. But it doesn't make up for the fact that you have nothing to say apart from to tell me how rich you are. I know they say money talks but I've never heard it tell an amusing anecdote, and it certainly can't flirt seductively. Although it is highly useful for handbag buying. Oh and by the way, talking about how much money you have makes women wonder what you are trying to compensate for. That's not the impression you want to give, is it?

So we are left longing for the conversation of the ordinary bloke who hasn't lost his marbles because he's on holiday. But first we need a little time to recuperate. Or maybe a lot. The picture with this post? It helps to remind us why we bother!

Sex Toys - Meet My Rabbit - Part 2

So we have plucked up the courage to go into the shop to buy the Rabbit, we have loitered furtively until we think it is safe to choose which one we like the look of and we have had the very helpful advice from the well-trained, unflappable assistants. One of them admits that the only shocking experience she had was when her 70 year old grandmother appeared in the shop. She says, "Thank God she was only coming to visit me in my new job. I had told her it was a lingerie shop. If she had been there for anything else I think I would have needed life-long therapy!"

And then you get your Rabbit home. Women are obviously loving them but a lot of the men we spoke to are intimidated by them. Who wants to compete with a mechanical toy that never tires, never does anything inappropriate, is always ready for action. may be bigger, can move faster, the use of which ends in less mess? Is the Rabbit as it claims, better than man?

Andy says, "The ones I have seen are just so huge. It gives us a lot to live up to. Quite frankly, I'd rather not have the added pressure."

Mick is also not too sure, "I didn't have a problem with it until my girlfriend was going through new batteries every week and seemed to prefer to spend more time with it than with me."

The best solution seems to be when sex toys were neither the sole domain of one partner of the other but are shared, used by one to give the other pleasure. Lisa tells us of her first experience with the Rabbit, "I was really scared to use this enormous mechanical thing, no matter how girl friendly it was packaged. My boyfriend used it as part of our love making. It was the most erotic of experiences. After that, I was no longer afraid but I still loved to use it when I was with my boyfriend. The only downside of it, if it was a downside, was that I had become almost addicted to it in the beginning, sneaking off whenever I had a spare moment..."

So do men have anything to fear from the sex toy? We don't think so. No matter how exciting and and satisfying they may be, nothing really can beat the feel of skin against skin and the warmth of another body.

Sex With The Boss

It's very, very dangerous, it's downright stupid, it could ruin your career but it's as exciting as hell. Sex with the boss.

It's the power thing. Women are attracted to power. That's why ugly men can still get gorgeous women. (OK sometimes it's the money but money equals power). Power is a very attractive quality. How many women have had the fantasy of bending over a big desk, panties around ankles, getting a spanking from the boss for some minor error? Now come on, it's not just me!

Jessica slept with her boss. I didn't ask her if a big desk was involved in their relationship but she says that she was attracted to the power. However, the affair was also so exciting because of all of the sneaking around, all the strategies they had in place for not being caught. Of course, as with all secrets, they did get caught and the hostility from workmates was fierce. She says, "Every achievement I had was put down to the fact that I was sleeping with the boss even when he wasn't involved in the project. I had to change firms to get my credibility back. But the sex was great - until he wasn't my boss anymore."

It's not just women that get caught up in it. Debbie tells us that she was so busy keeping an eye on her husband's very attractive secretary that it didn't occur to her that the real risk was his much less attractive boss. Until she caught them together. Never underestimate the sexual attraction of power.

Darren tells us of when he slept with his boss, " I was just her plaything, she was in total control. It was just really exciting. She wouldn't normally have been my type. In fact, she was the complete opposite of my type. My friends would have laughed themselves silly. In the end, I couldn't go on with it but it was exhilarating for a while."

We'd like to know what you have been up to with your boss. Let us know in the usual ways...

Sex Toys - Meet My Rabbit - Part 1

The Rampant Rabbit is now almost legendary in terms of female satisfaction. For those unlucky women who didn't know what it was, 'Sex and the City' made them decide that they needed to find out more. Sex toys for women are big business and as women more freely admit that they too have sexual needs, they are becoming less of a taboo.

A friend of ours was recently bought a Rabbit for her birthday. She was adamant that she would not use it. "I want a man" she screeched. (It had been a while, hence the screeching!) A few months later, she was addicted to it. Marketed as being 'Better than Man', it had obviously been living up to it's reputation. Especially as you don't have to wait by the phone to see if it will call, or check your inbox a million times a day; there are no long, painful break-ups, it's always handy and has never had too much to drink to be of any use. Just keep the spare batteries close. It really is a girl's best friend!

One of the researchers recently made a trip to a well known supplier of the Rabbit, for research purposes only you understand, and was astounded by the array, shape and colour available to the adventurous woman. She was, however, absolutely mortified when a young girl who didn't even look old enough to be having sex asked her if she needed any help. She didn't want help, she wanted to be left alone to skulk about in anonymity, shock and awe.

Instead she found herself with fingers on vibrating parts of enormous, whirring, penis-shaped machines whilst the relative merits of the intensity and grinding motions of the various editions were explained to her in minute detail. Needless to say, she ran from the shop screaming.

Not one to give up, she returned later and listened whilst a 19 yr old shop assistant explained to a middle-aged man why nipple clamps might be the perfect gift for his wife. It only got worse when, at the tills, a young man was told in a booming voice, why it was important that he buy intimate wipes to go with the gift for his girlfriend and the consequences of not doing so. (Best not to think about it.) There really is such a thing as too much information!

So what does all of this mean for the men in our lives? Find out what men had to say about sex toys in Part 2.

Addicted To The Chase

Men are hunters. And as we learnt in 'Cougar Time', so are some women. However, we have met some men who seem to find the chase more important than the prize.

We spoke to one man in his forties, very good looking, divorced, and living, happily, with his girlfriend but who takes every opportunity there is to sleep with other women. He tells us, "I love my girlfriend and I want to stay with her forever but I cannot be faithful. I just love women too much." His life is hard and complicated, full of angry women and lies and yet he just can't give it up. He is addicted to the chase, to the winning, to the excitement that only the new can provide. And he is willing to risk his sanity and that of those around him for his addiction. And yes, he did ask for our numbers!

Jason told us that he loves the flirting, the texting, pushing those boundaries little by little until he knows he has won and he has her and then... he loses interest. "I'm just waiting for the time when I don't lose interest and then I know I've found the one." Maybe he has already found her but just doesn't know it.

Another of our interviewees tells us that he conducted a love affair more or less solely by text for a whole year. When they finally got together, reality did not meet their expectations and they separated after only three months. "It was fun and exciting in the beginning, the verbal jousting by text. We just flirted outrageously, it was like playing chess, you had to think tactically, always moving forward but never giving away your game plan. I loved it." Mating rituals seem to be getting ever more complicated!

No wonder online chat rooms are so popular, you can flirt to your heart's content and you don't even have to give your real name, you never have to meet your jousting partner and so you don't have to be let down by reality. But then you don't have the opportunity to be surprised and excited by reality either...